Counting bodies like sheep
Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the world and the people I share it with.
There are days when I am completely content, and I am full of hope for the future. I appreciate all those little things that make life worth it: flowers and trees bursting open in the hopes of summer sunshine; the way the wind whips through you before a thunderstorm - feeling the strength of the earth surround you, the smell of fresh baked bread coming from my kitchen wondering, everytime, how I manage to do that?
Then there are those other days.
Days where I find it impossible that I live on the same planet as with people driving giant Dodge Foreskins running my little Civic off the road and complaining that gas is $3.00 a gallon. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fond of it, but we are not entitled to cheap gas simpley because we live in a county that is willing and able to harass other countries and ravage the earth until it's dry. It's funny though. Milk is $3.00 a gallon - but you don't hear many people complain about that. Meanwhile, we definitely WON'T be running out of cows anytime soon and their "emmissions" actually aide the environment. Hm.
I'd like to think that I don't buy into the shit I'm fed - maybe it's just that I buy into something different, because I still have a lot of crap. And I like my crap. But - I can't sit and watch TV for lengthy periods of time - by this I mean more than 10 minutes. We are bombarded by ways to improve ourselves from people who are completely unaware of what actual needs we have! (Or maybe they know all too well what sort of needs we have.) Does it really matter if "Coach" is sewn into my bag? Does "Lucky" really have to be embroidered in my jeans? Let me assure everyone: drinking Bud does not get you the chicks, buying Maybelline does not make you beautiful, Calgon will not "take you away," and having that "one more thing" (whatever that is for you) will not complete you. Instead, we are being buried under a pile of shit we don't need - and loving it!
I've decided that humans by nature are always looking to better themselves, which is GOOD. But that seems to have gone in a materialistic direction. Ignore the true issues of the self, constantly consume and buy into the material goods that abound, and you will wash yourself away. Is it more difficult to tell people they need to change or to tell yourself you need to change? People are looking for a way to validate themselves. We all need something to make working this crappy job worth it, right? I understand this. I have wants that overshadow my needs, that I hide in. But I also feel the weight and want to know what it is, within myself that makes me want the things I want. There are steps that I need to take, and the more steps I take the more I see through the facade and stare in the eyes of the snakes who want to keep an entire group of people in the dark. It's a frightening place to be. I wouldn't say it's a paranoid place, but rather lugubrious. I see people everyday going through motions, wondering if they realize how the world is working to keep them blindfolded, and hoping they will be able to break out of the hypnotic daily grind that makes it so easy to sleep through.
Who wouldn't rather sleep?
There are days when I am completely content, and I am full of hope for the future. I appreciate all those little things that make life worth it: flowers and trees bursting open in the hopes of summer sunshine; the way the wind whips through you before a thunderstorm - feeling the strength of the earth surround you, the smell of fresh baked bread coming from my kitchen wondering, everytime, how I manage to do that?
Then there are those other days.
Days where I find it impossible that I live on the same planet as with people driving giant Dodge Foreskins running my little Civic off the road and complaining that gas is $3.00 a gallon. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fond of it, but we are not entitled to cheap gas simpley because we live in a county that is willing and able to harass other countries and ravage the earth until it's dry. It's funny though. Milk is $3.00 a gallon - but you don't hear many people complain about that. Meanwhile, we definitely WON'T be running out of cows anytime soon and their "emmissions" actually aide the environment. Hm.
I'd like to think that I don't buy into the shit I'm fed - maybe it's just that I buy into something different, because I still have a lot of crap. And I like my crap. But - I can't sit and watch TV for lengthy periods of time - by this I mean more than 10 minutes. We are bombarded by ways to improve ourselves from people who are completely unaware of what actual needs we have! (Or maybe they know all too well what sort of needs we have.) Does it really matter if "Coach" is sewn into my bag? Does "Lucky" really have to be embroidered in my jeans? Let me assure everyone: drinking Bud does not get you the chicks, buying Maybelline does not make you beautiful, Calgon will not "take you away," and having that "one more thing" (whatever that is for you) will not complete you. Instead, we are being buried under a pile of shit we don't need - and loving it!
I've decided that humans by nature are always looking to better themselves, which is GOOD. But that seems to have gone in a materialistic direction. Ignore the true issues of the self, constantly consume and buy into the material goods that abound, and you will wash yourself away. Is it more difficult to tell people they need to change or to tell yourself you need to change? People are looking for a way to validate themselves. We all need something to make working this crappy job worth it, right? I understand this. I have wants that overshadow my needs, that I hide in. But I also feel the weight and want to know what it is, within myself that makes me want the things I want. There are steps that I need to take, and the more steps I take the more I see through the facade and stare in the eyes of the snakes who want to keep an entire group of people in the dark. It's a frightening place to be. I wouldn't say it's a paranoid place, but rather lugubrious. I see people everyday going through motions, wondering if they realize how the world is working to keep them blindfolded, and hoping they will be able to break out of the hypnotic daily grind that makes it so easy to sleep through.
Who wouldn't rather sleep?
posted by shannon. at 7:38 PM
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