we are better than "normal"
Recently I was chatting with a friend and the subject of "Normal Life" came up. This got me to thinking, "What is a 'normal life' anyway?" I guess one can compare it to the "American Dream" - something about - Perfection. This, I think, is generally thought of: white picket fence, 2.5 kids, a dog a cat and June Cleaver in your kitchen. Except...isn't this slightly outdated? I mean, our society has changed so much. Clearly a change in what people think is important. Plus, doesn't that life look different for each of us anyway? We are, after all, [gulp!] individuals. And aren't most of us still trying to figure out what we want?
For me that picture, of a fence and a house and a roast in the oven everyday with kiddos running around, has always scared the living crap out of me. It made me crazy thinking that I wasn't "normal" because I didn't want those things. So I faked it; for a long time. In the hopes that I would one day be, "Normal." When I finally accepted the things about myself that I knew needed nurturing, needed attention, even needed love; I began making my decisions based on the life I wanted. What "normal" felt like for me.
Now, having said that, it's been quite the rocky road [between decisions I've made and decisions that other people made that sometimes threw a wrench in the plan] and sometimes I do wish that I had just ran with the fence and the fishbowl and sheets out on the line; but that wouldn't have made me...well, me.
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to "get out there and see the world." I remember a time when I was a kid telling my dad that I wanted to go to California. He replied, "you don't want to go there." So, being a kid, I was increasingly curious because he had to have some information about this place I so wanted to go to, so I asked, "Have you been there?" Dad, "No. But you don't want to go there." Needless to say, that did not subdue my desire to spread my wings. Thanks for fanning the flames Dad.
I've been to a lot of places. I've even tried, "settling down" or "planting roots" - but it just doesn't take. Some people call them, "itchy feet," I call it, "me." I love change, I love new places, I love meeting new people. I love new foods, new drinks, new trees, everything! It's never easy to leave a place, it's always bittersweet. But it's just me. I just like to go. The phrase "Not all who wander are lost" comes to mind...
But the family, the friends, and the places you stay or leave or come back to or never leave - they are the things that make life worth it. These are the things that make one feel "normal." Even when things don't go according to plan and you feel off balance and not even like "you" let alone whatever definition of "normal" you have attached yourself to - these people and places that we hold in our hearts; that understand us and we understand them, they ground us, they center us, they nurture and support us. They relate to us and make us feel "normal" - if even for a minute. These things in all their forms, people and places, whatever; with all their words and silent prayers, their memories and hopes - they have molded us. They make our lives so much better than "normal."
For me that picture, of a fence and a house and a roast in the oven everyday with kiddos running around, has always scared the living crap out of me. It made me crazy thinking that I wasn't "normal" because I didn't want those things. So I faked it; for a long time. In the hopes that I would one day be, "Normal." When I finally accepted the things about myself that I knew needed nurturing, needed attention, even needed love; I began making my decisions based on the life I wanted. What "normal" felt like for me.
Now, having said that, it's been quite the rocky road [between decisions I've made and decisions that other people made that sometimes threw a wrench in the plan] and sometimes I do wish that I had just ran with the fence and the fishbowl and sheets out on the line; but that wouldn't have made me...well, me.
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to "get out there and see the world." I remember a time when I was a kid telling my dad that I wanted to go to California. He replied, "you don't want to go there." So, being a kid, I was increasingly curious because he had to have some information about this place I so wanted to go to, so I asked, "Have you been there?" Dad, "No. But you don't want to go there." Needless to say, that did not subdue my desire to spread my wings. Thanks for fanning the flames Dad.
I've been to a lot of places. I've even tried, "settling down" or "planting roots" - but it just doesn't take. Some people call them, "itchy feet," I call it, "me." I love change, I love new places, I love meeting new people. I love new foods, new drinks, new trees, everything! It's never easy to leave a place, it's always bittersweet. But it's just me. I just like to go. The phrase "Not all who wander are lost" comes to mind...
But the family, the friends, and the places you stay or leave or come back to or never leave - they are the things that make life worth it. These are the things that make one feel "normal." Even when things don't go according to plan and you feel off balance and not even like "you" let alone whatever definition of "normal" you have attached yourself to - these people and places that we hold in our hearts; that understand us and we understand them, they ground us, they center us, they nurture and support us. They relate to us and make us feel "normal" - if even for a minute. These things in all their forms, people and places, whatever; with all their words and silent prayers, their memories and hopes - they have molded us. They make our lives so much better than "normal."
posted by shannon. at 10:12 PM
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