prying open my third eye
When I was 16 I started working at a restaurant in a very exclusive country club. My neighbor was a waitress there and knew I needed a job for the summer. I ended up working there for four and a half years! I worked in the kitchen as a prep and line cook and it was HILARIOUS!
A chef that I worked with was one of the most "experienced" people I have ever met. As I look back now, I realize he is the reason I never wanted to experiment with drugs. If I was ever curious I would simply ask him what it was like, and if it didn't seem that interesting why bother? Needless to say I didn't find my options of illegal drugs very exciting. Except one. And I constantly hounded the guy with questions. He probalby figured I was merely living vicariously through him. Oh, no. I had been preparing myself if ever the opportunity was presented. 10 years later...It took long enough to show it's face.
Ensuite, I feel that I was VERY well prepared for that deeelightful peanut butter and jelly sandwich I ate a few weeks ago. (I need to tell you here that I was at a music festival, otherwise things will get confusing.)
However...when those little fungi REALLY kicked in...what happened could not have been more unexpected. At first I felt really giddy, as if you have a fantastic secret to tell someone but you haven't told them yet. EVERYONE looked familiar and I found it difficult to NOT smile. (Apparently that's called "permagrin," who knew?) I was sort of afraid to use my arms because every time i moved them it felt really weird. Almost as if they were beyond my control and I didn't want them to fly away. I wanted to touch EVERYTHING. It was as if my body was new. And then...
I was in the midst of the crowd while Trey was playing and I got REALLY hot, all of a sudden. I looked to the side, then I looked at the stage, then off to the side again...and the atmosphere pulsed. I rubbed my eyes, and thought to myself, "hmmm. that was weird." Turning to Ashley I told her how I felt, and then I said, "It's like it's coming though in waves." Giggling at myself for saying that, I realized it was a Pink Floyd line that now had a brand new meaning. (For those of you who don't know me, I am a GIANT Pink Floyd fan - and I've been stone cold sober all my life. Odd isn't?) Moving on, Ashley asked if I wanted to get out of the "pit" and I did actually think about it for a minute, then decided that it would be a good idea. On the way out I grabbed her hand and wouldn't let go, as I started stepping over things that weren't there.
I found my "pusher man" where I left him, looked him dead in the eyes and told him, "I feel COMPLETELY WEIRD." He smiled and just started laughing. I started laughing as well, but was not nearly as controlled about it. Feeling as though different parts of my brain were fighting I took a deep breath and managed to stop laughing.
Lenny came over and I explained the situation, at this point it was starting to look like I was in an IMAX theatre and Trey was glowing in a lovely shade of blue! He said I shouldn't fight it, just let it happen, and to try and focus on something. Thinking it over in the part of my brain that was still functioning normally, I asked myself, "What DO I want to think about?" Suddenly I felt really hot again, except only my forehead, and all that came to mind was Maynard screaming, "PRYING OPEN MY THIRD EYE!" It wasn't frightening, I actually giggled and thought that was pretty cool. Then I decided to let it completely take me.
Let the vomiting commence! Not exactly the highlight, but I did feel better when it was over.
Sounds around me were amazing. It was sort of like every sound had a different color, and each time I heard a new one it made my mind race trying to place it. There was such a familiarity with everything around me and yet I couldn't quite figure out what some of the objects and sounds were.
Speaking and keeping my eyes open, were my two most difficult tasks through the duration of the experience. So I decided to remain silent, although I was completely aware of what was going on around me. There were two instances when I really wished I could have said something. There was so much effort involved, however, that I decided to let it wait until morning. The first was when I was bent over a garbage can; two people wearing purple shirts with crosses on them came over to see if I was ok. I really wanted to look at them and tell them I was fine, I just needed to throw up, but I really didn't want to get too far from the garbage can. The second was when Ashley was really worried about me at our campsite, I could hear her talking about it. I wanted to let her know I was fine and that it was just difficult to speak, and I did try to say something, but it didn't come out louder than a whisper.
I fell asleep eventually, and the next day was completely out of it. As if I had taken a nap in the middle of the day and woke up in a daze.
I have to admit I am quite glad I didn't have the opportunity when I was younger. It was way better this way~ to do research and ask questions from "pros" and contemplate if I really DID want to try it or not.
For now I'll let my third eye rest...
A chef that I worked with was one of the most "experienced" people I have ever met. As I look back now, I realize he is the reason I never wanted to experiment with drugs. If I was ever curious I would simply ask him what it was like, and if it didn't seem that interesting why bother? Needless to say I didn't find my options of illegal drugs very exciting. Except one. And I constantly hounded the guy with questions. He probalby figured I was merely living vicariously through him. Oh, no. I had been preparing myself if ever the opportunity was presented. 10 years later...It took long enough to show it's face.
Ensuite, I feel that I was VERY well prepared for that deeelightful peanut butter and jelly sandwich I ate a few weeks ago. (I need to tell you here that I was at a music festival, otherwise things will get confusing.)
However...when those little fungi REALLY kicked in...what happened could not have been more unexpected. At first I felt really giddy, as if you have a fantastic secret to tell someone but you haven't told them yet. EVERYONE looked familiar and I found it difficult to NOT smile. (Apparently that's called "permagrin," who knew?) I was sort of afraid to use my arms because every time i moved them it felt really weird. Almost as if they were beyond my control and I didn't want them to fly away. I wanted to touch EVERYTHING. It was as if my body was new. And then...
I was in the midst of the crowd while Trey was playing and I got REALLY hot, all of a sudden. I looked to the side, then I looked at the stage, then off to the side again...and the atmosphere pulsed. I rubbed my eyes, and thought to myself, "hmmm. that was weird." Turning to Ashley I told her how I felt, and then I said, "It's like it's coming though in waves." Giggling at myself for saying that, I realized it was a Pink Floyd line that now had a brand new meaning. (For those of you who don't know me, I am a GIANT Pink Floyd fan - and I've been stone cold sober all my life. Odd isn't?) Moving on, Ashley asked if I wanted to get out of the "pit" and I did actually think about it for a minute, then decided that it would be a good idea. On the way out I grabbed her hand and wouldn't let go, as I started stepping over things that weren't there.
I found my "pusher man" where I left him, looked him dead in the eyes and told him, "I feel COMPLETELY WEIRD." He smiled and just started laughing. I started laughing as well, but was not nearly as controlled about it. Feeling as though different parts of my brain were fighting I took a deep breath and managed to stop laughing.
Lenny came over and I explained the situation, at this point it was starting to look like I was in an IMAX theatre and Trey was glowing in a lovely shade of blue! He said I shouldn't fight it, just let it happen, and to try and focus on something. Thinking it over in the part of my brain that was still functioning normally, I asked myself, "What DO I want to think about?" Suddenly I felt really hot again, except only my forehead, and all that came to mind was Maynard screaming, "PRYING OPEN MY THIRD EYE!" It wasn't frightening, I actually giggled and thought that was pretty cool. Then I decided to let it completely take me.
Let the vomiting commence! Not exactly the highlight, but I did feel better when it was over.
Sounds around me were amazing. It was sort of like every sound had a different color, and each time I heard a new one it made my mind race trying to place it. There was such a familiarity with everything around me and yet I couldn't quite figure out what some of the objects and sounds were.
Speaking and keeping my eyes open, were my two most difficult tasks through the duration of the experience. So I decided to remain silent, although I was completely aware of what was going on around me. There were two instances when I really wished I could have said something. There was so much effort involved, however, that I decided to let it wait until morning. The first was when I was bent over a garbage can; two people wearing purple shirts with crosses on them came over to see if I was ok. I really wanted to look at them and tell them I was fine, I just needed to throw up, but I really didn't want to get too far from the garbage can. The second was when Ashley was really worried about me at our campsite, I could hear her talking about it. I wanted to let her know I was fine and that it was just difficult to speak, and I did try to say something, but it didn't come out louder than a whisper.
I fell asleep eventually, and the next day was completely out of it. As if I had taken a nap in the middle of the day and woke up in a daze.
I have to admit I am quite glad I didn't have the opportunity when I was younger. It was way better this way~ to do research and ask questions from "pros" and contemplate if I really DID want to try it or not.
For now I'll let my third eye rest...
posted by shannon. at 9:48 PM
1 Comments:
what's scary to me is that i don't even remember asking if you were OK. must've been my sober subconscious taking over. i do remember how good those nachos tasted, and then not remembering how i got the nachos. maybe there never were any nachos.
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